“Manners easily and rapidly mature into morals.” – Horace Mann
Why Good Manners and Etiquette are Important
Good manners and proper etiquette matter more than ever in our society, whether it is in academic classrooms, social settings, or in public places.
By modeling good character and our values through our manners, we can all have a strong impact on respect and civility in society. In this article, you will learn about the importance of manners and etiquette, why manners are uncommon these days, and receive some tips for good manners and proper etiquette to apply at home or at school.
Here are four key points about why manners and etiquette are so important.
- Structure or Lack Thereof – A lack of structure and an over-reliance on digital devices has had an impact on family life and on education, thereby reducing role models and mentorship.
- Lack of Character Development and Accountability- In public schools, and even in many private schools, there is often a lack of emphasis on real world skills like teaching good manners and offering etiquette training.
- Changes in Communications – The increased use of social media has often resulted in manners falling by the wayside. As you know, social media allows people to feel more anonymous, sometimes resulting in inappropriate comments and a lack of good manners.
- Influences with the Youth – Unfortunately, video and game channels, social media, as well as film and television have all played a part in the decline of manners, where a lack of manners is often witnessed and reinforced.
Why are Manners Uncommon These Days
- Lack of Guidance – In recent decades, teaching good manners has often been ignored, resulting in a growing number of youth not learning the basic principles and practices of good manners and proper etiquette.
- Generational Shifts – While some lay blame on shifts in family dynamics, others blame younger generations like the Millennials (born between 1981 and 1995) and iGen (born in the 1995-2012). However, we have all contributed to the way people employ good manners and proper etiquette.
- Misunderstanding Distinctions – For a moment, think about the distinctions between manners and etiquette. Although manners and etiquette work in sync, they are not quite the same. Etiquette tends to be a specific set of rules to follow, whereas, manners are really an expression of a person’s inner character.
- Ignoring Character and Common Sense – To go even deeper, according to Emily Post, manners tend to reflect our character and attitudes towards life. Manners require common sense, whereas rules of etiquette often provide the guidance needed to practice good manners.
- Lack of Training – Despite the lack of general training, there are some private school programs that help teenagers develop good manners.. At the Army and Navy Academy, for instance, where they offer JROTC, this is part of the leadership education training (LET) curriculum. Leadership and character development are integral to campus life.
Tips for Good Manners and Proper Etiquette
Here are 12 ways you can demonstrate good manners in your daily life and model good manners and etiquette for others.
- Choose your words and topics wisely. Avoid speaking about things you don’t know much about or that could offend someone. Show openness to various perspectives and monitor your choice of words.
- Practice Active Listening. It is tempting to multitask, but active listening means being off devices, looking the person in the eye and not interrupting.
- Watch Your Volume. Speak in a normal tone of voice, as speaking very loud or shouting can be viewed as overbearing, bossy or disrespectful.
- Avoid Negative Remarks. Think before you make a comment. This is true for in-person remarks as well as online comments and use of digital imagery. Make a practice to learn and follow good “netiquette” everywhere you go. .
- Think Before You Act. Think things through before you act. Be intentional in what you say and do. Make an effort to be a team-player and be cooperative.
- Show Respect Towards Others. Show respect by controlling yourself, not others.. Show respect for everyone, including yourself, your peers, and elders.
- Show Appreciation and Gratitude. Using the terms “thank you” and “you’re welcome” shows others you have good manners.
- Be responsive. Make sure you respond to all forms of communication in a timely fashion and avoid “ghosting”.
- Show Courtesy. Avoid profanity as it will cause others to see you as having no self-control or respect. Also, show courtesy toward others while waiting in lines, driving, and more.
- Speak Highly of Others. If you don’t have something positive to say about someone, whether it is a friend, family member or peer, avoid making negative comments.
- Be Helpful and Courteous. Lend a hand to others when you see someone is in need. This can be as simple as offering to help carry something or holding a door open.
- Be Friendly and Cheerful – It is generally considered good manners to greet people, smile, and be friendly. Of course, we all should be cautious with strangers, but this does not mean we should be discourteous in public places.
If we want a more polite, civil, and respectful society, we all need to make efforts to follow etiquette guidelines and practice good manners.
Interested in exploring a school that integrates manners and etiquette? Check out Army and Navy Academy, a college prep school geared for boys, grades 7-12. Request More Information or call 888. 762.2338.